Jane
by Lily is Wholocked
Summary: All right! All right! I finally admit it- I like him. I like the annoyingly handsome jerk called Sirius Black...  Jane's life was a perfect mess...


**So of course nothing belongs to me... all to J.K. Rowling... the maker of my childhood...**

Sirius Black... the resident heart-throb of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry... He loved being the centre of attention and that was the reason he pulled pranks. But tonight was different. He wanted to be away from his regular life - away from his fan girls, his fights with Jane and, though he would never accept it, even his friends. It was not for any particular reason- he just wanted to escape and that was the reason he was under James's invisibility cloak which he had "borrowed" (by taking it from his trunk; anyway he knew James would not mind). He was presently wandering in the deserted corridor of the 7th floor.

He was just roaming around the place when, all of a sudden, he heard a broken, heart wrenching sob and then silence. He decided to see the girl- he was sure it was a girl- who was crying. He moved in the direction where he heard the sound. To his extreme surprise he saw Jane – his arch nemesis. She was sitting on the floor her knees pulled up to her chest he head resting on the wall behind and tears were pouring down her cheeks. The book she usually carried- a small black leather bound diary – was lying on the ground with her quill next to it. Knowing most of the girls in Hogwarts she would probably be crying over some crush of hers not asking her out.

But Jane was not most of the girls. For one- her best friend was Lily Evans and was the only one who could calm her down when she was in one of her famous Evans rages. Secondly- she was the only girl in the entire castle who refused to wear make- up not even eyeliner. Most importantly- she was the only one other than Lily who was yet to date a Marauder (other than the Slytherins )and was the only girl in the whole of Hogwarts who hated Sirius Black ( probably a little more than Bella did ). Their fights were the more violent form of Lily and James fights only because Sirius hexed her back while James- ever the gentleman - refused to hurt Lily.

So, why was Jane here? Bawling her eyes out? Sirius Black, the master of deception, slid down the wall next to her and read the diary upside down. But what he could read were only a line in a new page. He could not risk reading the previous page. But what he read was enough to taunt her for the week. Like all other idiot girls she was crying over some guy she liked.

_Dear diary,_

_It's been two weeks since daddy's gone. And he has left me all alone in this big frightening world. I know being a 17 year old witch I should not be scared but then everything around here frightens me – Voldermort's rise to power, Daddy's sudden death, my mother's hatred towards me and all of a sudden my best friend not speaking to me properly. I don't know when but I'm sure one of these days I'll be expecting a letter from Mother dearest to tell me how much she hates me and that she is going to disown me now that dad's dead. _

_I wish Lily would understand that I don't have enough strength to listen to her gushing about how sweet James is and such. I wish she understands that I have problems. Sometimes I wish I had a friend who would listen to my problems in life. I wish I did not love Sirius Black. Karma is a bitch _

Jane flipped the page and wrote:

_But I just wish that boy would like me._

She finally broke down - Just one tiny sob. She muffled her cries and put her head back resting it against the wall letting the tears flow. She put her diary and quill down.

After a while, she brushed of her tears and got up. She picked up her diary and left to the prefect's bathroom. She became a prefect to fill in Lily's shoes after she became head girl. What she needed now was a good warm bath to free her mind from her problems.

_Next morning..._

Jane woke up to the sound of Lily rushing into the girl's 7th year dorm.

"Janie", she squealed, "He asked me out. He was so nice and got me bunch of roses and he was so nervous"... Jane tuned out of Lily's talking. Oh good James asked her out. Now if Lily would leave and let her have a much needed sleep. But then her sleep had disappeared like it usually did when someone woke her up.

"Lily Billy! I am really glad and all that. But could you please let me rest for a while? But I will want all the details later." Jane asked with as much enthusiasm she could muster. She really was happy for her friend.

"Oh! I'm sorry Jane. I will talk to you later. Bye. James said he'd wait for me in the common room." she said and left.

Jane closed her eyes and a few tear drops leaked through. She wallowed in self- pity for a while and then decided that it was no use lying on the bed if she could not fall asleep. She took a shower, put on her well pressed uniform, her robes and then went down for breakfast. She smiled at the little first years and sat down at a corner of the Gryffindor table. She did not want to disturb Lily, who was having an animated conversation with James.

Just as she thought that the day might be better than yesterday, Sirius Black sauntered into the hall. His eyes scanning the hall and finally when they fell on James and Lily talking his lips curled into a smirk. Then his eyes fell on her and she blushed and looked down.

She groaned, for she knew that he was coming towards her. Sure enough, he slid into the seat next to her. "Black," she acknowledged dully. She knew if she stayed longer a fight was inevitable. Her muddled mind could presently think of no hexes good enough to maim him. But she mostly stood up to leave to avoid him and his hurtful words. He had no idea how much words hurt if it came from a person they loved. Feelings unreciprocated hurt the most. But she was not about to let Sirius know that he had won, her pride would not let that happen.

She turned to leave, when he called out- "So, I heard that Little Miss Prefect has a crush on someone."

She froze mid-step. He could not know about that. No one knew, not even Lily. When she faced him he was looking directly at her an arrogant smirk on his handsome face. She looked around and saw many people staring at them, obviously waiting for the Jane- Sirius fight to happen.

"Though I think an ugly, stupid git would be the best person for you."

She felt heat rising up her cheeks and she drew out her wand pointing at him.

"Should I really be scared of you- the girl that writes in a diary because no one listens to her?"

She knew the taunt was childish but she could not help - she replied calmly, "I have enough people to talk to Black."

She herself knew this was wrong, that the only person who listened to her was Lily and these days even she- not so much. After her dad's death she knew she did not have anyone to talk to.

"Lily" she called. Lily had not yet observed what was happening. When Jane called she turned to her annoyed at her for disturbing her talk with James and said, "I will speak to you later Jane." And she turned back to her conversation

Her face burned with embarrassment. Sirius was laughing and next to him his fan girls- tittering.

"Oh! Poor Jane- she has no one to talk to. Stupid, plain old Jane. " She knew he was mocking her but also knew what he said was true. She could not help tearing up. Her wand arm shaking- her wand fell to the floor. "Did I mention useless?"

She could not take it any longer. She swiftly walked out of the hall. His words echoing in her mind- "Stupid... Plain...Useless..." Tears fell thick and fast till she reached the Fat lady's portrait. She told her the password, ran up the stairs, threw open the door of the girl's dorm and fell on her bed unable to control her sobbing any more. She slowly drifted off to sleep.

Jane shot up when she heard a gentle rapping sound at the window. It was Magik- her owl. Merlin! How long had she slept? She looked at her watch and saw that it was way past lunch- Almost an entire day of classes gone. She opened the window and let Magik come in. It was a letter from her mother.

Someone opened the door of the dorm and she quickly stuffed the letter into the bag. It was just Lily.

"Jane! I was so worried. Where were you all this time?" she asked.

"I was very tired. I came up here and drifted off to sleep." she told her trying to act nonchalantly. Though she could not believe Lily actually bought that story.

"By the way, could I please borrow that green shirt of yours for my date tomorrow?"

"Sure", I replied.

"Jane", she started uncertainly, "is something wrong?"

"Oh! Nothing is wrong Lily", I replied my voice dripping with sarcasm, "except for the fact that my best friend comes to me only when SHE wants to speak."

"Hey! I don't do that I do listen to you speak. I am, aren't I?" she asked.

"Please Lily! How many times have you told me that you will talk to me later in the past week and have you ever asked what it was. You come, talk about James and leave."

"I don't talk only about James. All right! What is it that you want? Some help in potions or some essay?"

But Jane was beyond pissed now.

"WHEN HAVE I EVER ASKED FOR HELP LILY? DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME? IF YOU DO REMEMBER I AM STILL ON THE TOP OF THE CLASS WITHOUT HELP"

"Then what is it? Look I'm sorry I have not spoken to you properly. But you are my best friend and-"

Jane cut her off, "BEST FRIEND? REALLY LILY? IF I ACTUALLY WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND THEN YOU WOULD HAVE REALISED THAT I WAS NOT HAPPY. THAT I WAS GRIEVING FOR 2 WEEKS BECAUSE MY FATHER DIED."

"Oh! Jane I'm so sorry. I did not realise-"

"Leave Lily. Please", Jane said trying to reign in her temper.

"Jane," she tried again.

"All right then, you don't leave I will", saying so she stalked of tears of frustration and sorrow pouring down her cheeks.

Sirius was beyond confused. He sat down at the tree by the lake not. He put up a heating charm around himself. It was freezing cold- snowing for it was a December evening and today was the weirdest day in 7th year.

First James comes bounding up early morning and waking us up to tell us that Lily finally accepted to go out with him and that he was taking her to Hogsmeade the following night. He was so happy that he gave Sirius his cloak for using tonight.

Then that day morning, Jane had tried to walk out before an argument started between them. When he taunted her about being stupid and plain (plain maybe, but Jane definitely was not stupid.) she had burst into tears and she ran out of the great hall. He had told her such things many times during their 7 years in Hogwarts and she always had a good comeback. She did not even attend classes that day and many teachers were worried about her.

Well, also apparently the "sweet tempered" Jane had exploded on her best friend. Lily was a wreck and when James asked her why she was crying- she just told him Jane... And started weeping again.

Later:

_Flashback-_

_Jane was sitting on the front steps of the castle when James and Sirius strode up to her. James sat down next to her and said, "I don't know what you said to Lily, but she's upset. I'm warning you Jane- you better make things proper or I will chuck you out of the team."_

"_You wouldn't dare, Captain. I'm your best seeker. " she said not even bothering to look at James._

"_Listen, Jane- You hurt my girl and I don't care even about Quidditch. I will chuck you out. "_

_She finally looked at him, there was fury in her eyes and in a low voice she said, "Why do you think Lily can never be at fault? Maybe this time she has hurt me and is crying because she feels guilty. You want to chuck me out then do it. I don't give a damn about it anyway."_

_Saying so, she stormed away towards the grounds._

_End flashback._

That definitely was not Jane's behaviour. That girl never ran away from a fight and she never blamed anything on anyone else- except Sirius because she hated him. Sirius was definitely confused. Why would Jane shout at Lily? Why would she not care about Quidditch when she loved the game?

Sirius got up and walked towards the lake- something red had caught his eye. It was a red bag and was very light. Sirius opened the bag and to his surprise out came Jane's black diary. ? What was her bag doing here? He looked around to see where she was. He smirked to himself- he would now know who the guy was- the guy she liked.

There was a voice (that not- so- surprisingly sounded like Remus's) nagging him- Telling him that it he was not supposed to read a person's diary. But when had he ever listened. He went back to the place he was sitting earlier and opened the latest entry.

_Dear diary,_

_Today was just as worse as yesterday. First, after another confrontation with Sirius where he embarrasses me in front of the whole school I miss the entire day of class. Then I shout at Lily AND James. _

_Merlin... I wish I could do something to change today. But I'm Stupid Plain Old Jane! Did I mention useless? _

The ink was smudged... It looked like she was crying...

_Oh! As if today could get even worse- That lady I'm forced to call mother- well she officially disowned me. Now that dad's dead there is no one to oppose her. She can chuck me out of course..._

That was the reason the girl was upset- her father had died. Sirius felt like arse now- he might dislike Jane but he knew what it felt like to be disowned by the family.

_I kind of expected it. But it still hurts a lot. Anyway I know one thing- no one can ever like Stupid, Useless, Plain Old Jane. No one will ever want me. Her black hair, brownish black eyes... forget him... I doubt any other guy would want me..._

Another tear drop had fallen. Sirius had absolutely no idea his words would affect her that much. Jane was independent and she never cared about what others thought about her. Then why was she writing all this? The last sentence made him feel worse-

_Why? Why could I never be a Lily with a James who loves me? Oh yes! Because I'm stupid and useless and...plain..._

Sirius felt very bad. Very bad indeed. What had happened to the spirited Jane he once knew. He knew this diary would know. So he flipped open to the first page and started to read...

**(A/N only interesting snippets of the diary entries will be shown...of course...)**

_Dear diary, _

_The first day of school and Black and I have already fought. That imbecile... ugh! He makes me mad! He is the world's greatest prat and I am so glad I hexed him good and proper. By the way- Lily is so mad. Captain got the head boy. I hope he has luck at least this year. They will be so sweet together._

There was the girl Sirius knew.

_Dear diary, _

_Dad's health is going down. I'm so scared._

_Dear diary,_

_All right! All right! I finally admit it- I like him. I like the annoyingly handsome jerk called Sirius Black._

Bloody hell! The guy she liked was him. He re-read the entry three times. He pinched himself to see if was awake and read again. But the words never changed. Jane Allen liked him- Sirius Black!

He continued reading...

_Dear diary, _

_Ouch! My head...it hurts so bad... Why the hell did I take that bludger to my head? Oh right...because I liked the stupid fool that evil thing was aimed at. The fool had the nerve to call me stupid after that._

Oops! So that was for him.

_Dear diary,_

_Dad's condition is getting better. Finally I also got Lily to admit she liked James... _

_Dear diary, _

_Mother sent me a letter. She told me that dad was getting better. I am so happy. Well except for the fact that I realized I don't like Sirius...much more than that. That's good, I guess...if it was not for him hating me..._

More than liking him? Sirius furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

_Dear diary, _

_Dad's getting worse... my fights with Sirius are getting worse... Lily is hardly speaking to me these days...I know head duties and NEWTs but still..._

Then he turned the page. He saw the entry she'd made yesterday- when he found her crying.

There was the reason she looked so... Broken. Her father had died two weeks ago and Lily was always talking about James never listening to her. Above all the girl said she was in love with him. Jane never said things she did not mean- everyone in school knew that.

Sirius was not an emotional person. Remus was and sometimes even James when it came to Lily but never Sirius. But the pain Jane felt and the fact that he was the cause of at least some of it made him ashamed.

Where was she? He stuffed the book back into the bag. And slung the bag over his shoulder. He pulled open the map from his pocket. Peter, that idiot had forgotten to wipe the map clean- yet again.

He quickly found her. It was a lone dot... On the Quidditch pitch. What was the girl doing out in such weather. He muttered "mischief managed" and the map went blank.

With quick strides he moved towards the pitch. He looked towards the sky searching for a sign of her flying. She was not there. He looked around the pitch and at one of the farthest corner he saw a speck of black hair.

He went towards it swiftly. But then Jane was lying there sprawled on the floor- she was unconscious. She looked lifeless- eyes closed. Her lips were turning blue because of the cold. He quickly levitated her and rushed into school. Luckily it was early curfew for the younger ones and he could easily take her to the hospital wing.

He called Madame Pomfrey a little bit too loudly and the matron rushed in to see what the noise was all about. When she saw Jane she immediately took charge.

She muttered some complex spell and Jane started to stir a little. Color started to come back into her usually rosy cheeks and her lips were slowly becoming pink. But a frown formed on her face and her eyebrows scrunched up together as if she was dreaming something painful.

The matron was muttering about how people would not get proper sleep these days and that she should give her dreamless sleep potion

"Don't know the last time the girl's slept properly." she said.

Sirius stood wide- eyed looking at all this. His stomach clenched uncomfortably seeing her look so pained even in her sleep. Madame Pomfrey brought out a tiny vial of a blue potion and poured into her slightly open mouth.

Jane's face immediately relaxed. Her face became peaceful looking and Sirius gave a sigh of relief. That was when Madame Pomfrey realised that he was still there and she immediately demanded to know what happened.

He just told her he found her unconscious in the pitch. She seemed to be very worried about her patient to bother asking him what he was doing outside in such cold weather.

"It is better if someone keeps an eye on her. I know this stubborn girl will definitely make me let her when she's better insisting that she'll be fine. She will be weak for a few days." She said and noticing how worn out Sirius looked she fussed a little over him and shooed him off.

**Liked it? I planned to make it a one- shot...but i guess if you like it... I can put up a sequel... review soon...**


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